You're Speaking Yiddish

from A Jewish Boy's Christmas by Sam Broverman

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lyrics

In Canada, here's how to be a mensch:
Be fluent both in English and in French
But you may not realize that sometimes words you speak
Are from another mother tongue not Latin and not Greek.

Folks won't think that you're a putz When you mention the word futz
It's not a crime, you've just killed time
You're speaking Yiddish.

And when you eat some khaseray And some guy asks you why,
You tell him "Oh, sure, you're so Kosher?", That's more Yiddish.

You met a shikse at a multi-ethnic mixa
You're alte bubby gets such nackhes You get zetzed right in the tuches

So I wish you lotsa luck If you call someone a schmuck
He'll get you back, with such a schmack If he knows Yiddish.

Ask for a kishke, blintz or knish, the dish you get will be delish.
You'll say "Oh gosh, that's quite a nosh", Hey, you know Yiddish.

But you don't have to be a Jew To holler "Oy Vey" or say "Nu?"

And if you say your pal's a klutz, ya
Just showed that you've got some chutzpah

Tell him how it made you feel When he said you`re a big shlemiel.

You both can kvetch and kvell and plotz
And that will prove you both know lots 'bout speaking Yiddish