1. |
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2. |
Hanukkah In Santa Monica
03:58
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3. |
The Christmas Waltz
02:40
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4. |
Coventry Carol
02:59
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5. |
You're Speaking Yiddish
02:02
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In Canada, here's how to be a mensch:
Be fluent both in English and in French
But you may not realize that sometimes words you speak
Are from another mother tongue not Latin and not Greek.
Folks won't think that you're a putz When you mention the word futz
It's not a crime, you've just killed time
You're speaking Yiddish.
And when you eat some khaseray And some guy asks you why,
You tell him "Oh, sure, you're so Kosher?", That's more Yiddish.
You met a shikse at a multi-ethnic mixa
You're alte bubby gets such nackhes You get zetzed right in the tuches
So I wish you lotsa luck If you call someone a schmuck
He'll get you back, with such a schmack If he knows Yiddish.
Ask for a kishke, blintz or knish, the dish you get will be delish.
You'll say "Oh gosh, that's quite a nosh", Hey, you know Yiddish.
But you don't have to be a Jew To holler "Oy Vey" or say "Nu?"
And if you say your pal's a klutz, ya
Just showed that you've got some chutzpah
Tell him how it made you feel When he said you`re a big shlemiel.
You both can kvetch and kvell and plotz
And that will prove you both know lots 'bout speaking Yiddish
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6. |
The First Noel Parody
02:31
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Noel, noel, noel, noel.
I've fallen under a Chrismastime spell.
It's the first Noel for the Richmond Hill Steins,
For the Rosedale Shapiros and Annex Levines.
On his gate there is a wreath laid by Phil Rosenbloom
And a Christmas tree stands in the Schwartz living room
Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel
What are they saying in Israel?
There's a sprig of mistletoe at the Cohens' front door,
A Nativity scene's on their dining room floor.
Hymie Gold prepared his home for a big Christmas bash
But from holly and ivy he got such a rash
Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel
Chanukah this year ain't going so well.
Sadie Feldman cooked a meal to surprise her man Sam
But she didn't make latkes, she cooked up a ham.
Sammy went to see his rabbi to get his ok.
Oy Vey, that's the tenth time I've been asked this today.
Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel
Who knew that Christmas caused Jews such a kvell.
Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel
I hope that I won't be going to hell.
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7. |
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8. |
Christmas Carol Parodies
05:27
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9. |
Swinging The Chicken
03:52
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10. |
The Christmas Song
02:33
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Each year since I was born
This Christmas season leaves me torn
There's always so much too enjoy
But what's there for a Jewish boy?
I wonder what's a Jew to do on Christmas
But think of all the fun he's missed
No mistletoe, no tree, No halls to deck for me
Passed over, not on Santa's list.
A dream come true for Jews on Christmas
Would be that ham is kosher for a day.
And if the powers that be Allow a shrimp or three
By me that would be quite okay
I'd like to ride along with Santa and with Donner
Slide down a chimney for a little late night snack.
What if this merry Christmas vibe
Makes me a goner From the tribe?
And what if the latkes and sour cream
Are not enough to get me back?
So here's my view of what to do on Christmas.
No matter how you may identify
Spin yourself silly like a dreydl,
Dish out eggnog with a ladle,
And Santa's never gonna pass you by
I guess that something I could do on Christmas
Would be to write a song for Christmas day
But I don't know if we need more,
I think it's all been done before
By Cahn, Berlin and Styne and Mel Torme
What else is there for me to do on Christmas
To really get me in the Christmas mood
Perhaps I'll go where Jews convene
I'll find a nearby movie screen
And after that, go out for Chinese food
I wanna open lots of presents Christmas morning
I'd like to have somebody stuff my stocking, too.
But if I do my rabbi might give me a warning
Or excommunicate me from the chosen few
So here's my view of what to do on Christmas.
Allow your troubles to be miles away,
Spin yourself silly like a dreydl,
Dish out eggnog with a ladle,
And one thing more, I think, that I should say
Don't mix the eggnog with the punch
Or you might lose your Christmas lunch
And be hungover until new years's day.
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Sam Broverman Toronto, Ontario
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